As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.

this has been a very longstanding issue - before the muppet show was even a thing some muppets appeared in commercials, such as rolf the dog

they had a continual problem where when people directing/shooting the dogfood commercial would give dirrection to rolf that they would be speaking to the muppet, to which rolf REPEATEDLY had to tell them ‘i cant hear you, you have to talk to him’ and point at the performer underneath him

rolf is one of the most embarrassing muppets to need this direction as the performer is this, damn, obvious when not on camera

‘sir, i am a bathroom mat, the man you need to talk to is back there’

I did an interview with Gonzo one time, and when I got into the Zoom call, it was the actor on screen trying to figure out his audio. And then once he did, he went like “OKAY!” and then just like dove to the floor and it was Gonzo and there was never a moment when I doubted that the dude was just Gonzo’s tech guy 

don’t say let me here you say “built different” unless you mean this

nicotine powered locomotive

Mcdonalds sprite restores one first level spell slot

the thing about frank iero is if you put him in front of a gnc frontperson he will fold like a sandcastle against the tides

the thing about frank iero is that if you put him in a band they will babygirl him so hard

When you have a kitty cat and never share pictures or videos of that kitty cat that's a crime. There is no ethical hoarding of kitty cat under capitalism. Share the love.

Our cats Milhouse and Richard

if I was an MMA fighter after every match I either win or lose I would say “regardless, I had so much fun!” even if my face was broken beyond recognition. it would piss everyone off so bad. my fans would be called Cheerys

Exactly. Conor McGregor would be beating me to a fucking pulp screaming his lungs out and I would be giggling like I’m getting tickled while my fans also get beaten up in the audience for being so sweet and cute

my mom didn’t believe in lying to children so when I first asked about santa claus as a small child she was like “oh santa claus is another name for a man named saint nicholas who lived a long time ago. he was a very kind and generous man and he loved giving people presents and he would do things like put presents in people’s stockings when they were hung up to dry by the fire, so they would find them and be surprised. so now when we give presents at christmas it’s fun to pretend saint nicholas or ‘santa claus’ brings them. and we hang up stockings by the fire and when we get up in the morning there are presents in them, just like if saint nicholas was still alive to bring them!”

so that thanksgiving one of my uncles said jovially “so mac, are you being good for santa claus?” and little (not quite three year old) mac looked up and raised an eyebrow and said witheringly “he’s dead.”

it’s ok that cobra starship songs have some tasteful misogyny because they have a bisexual flavor

the LGBT community has forgiven gabe saporta

“gender envy” this “gender envy” that,,, sir that man is a senior citizen

I don't plan on being 19 - 24 forever ????? Gender investment.

Gender compounding interest. Gender dividends.

Gender retirement plan

i’m drawing icarus and apollo waltzing for my illustration class and my professor told me to make the dip more dramatic because “the sun god should not support icarus in his fall” like you fool. you absolute buffoon. you think apollo didn’t support icarus? you think apollo didn’t shine down on icarus every day, even in that accursed tower, offering him what little warmth could be found in such a prison? you think daedalus would’ve founded a temple to the sun god if he was malicious in his compliance in icarus’ death? icarus wouldn’t have flown so close if the sun wasn’t so welcoming, so loving, so captivating. if the sun was cold and uncaring, icarus would not have burned. it was not apollo’s fault icarus fell. he could not curb his warmth, just like how icarus could not curb his curiosity. apollo loved icarus as much as icarus loved him, and that is why their story is so tragic. apollo was not a malicious force in icarus’ death, the fates were, and that was out of both of their controls. do not slander his name like this.

all the photos of him are like this, I love that this guy understood he had been born with the face of a wizard or axe murderer and just leaned fully into it

he knew EXACTLY what he was doing

when a statue in his honour was put up in Mexico they made sure to include Asya

“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket

Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too

not only did you prove your point, but you showed an example of it in the same sentence

news reporting on murders is always like ‘the victim was described by the people who knew them as polite and funny’ like yeah i fucking bet they did what else are they gonna say. breaking news local man stabbed 1000 times to death, grieving friends and family described the deceased to reporters as ‘a bit of a cunt’, ‘mean and bad’ and ‘just generally kind of annoying, you know?’

At a conveyer belt sushi restaurant.

The appropriate response.